Online Dating

post-onlinedating
At this point, we’ve all heard about online dating websites. After moving to northern California in 2008, I didn’t really have many friends here. The only person I knew was Nic and she was all the way in San Jose and then moved. So needless to say, I didn’t really go out much. I knew I wanted some sort of companionship/relationship so I resorted to online dating websites. I was at a place where I wasn’t able to afford paid dating websites like Match.com and eHarmony so I used free dating websites. I talked to a few people (okay, quite a bit of people) but was always too afraid to meet anyone in person. I think it all has to do with my self confidence and the fact that I didn’t feel comfortable because I knew I was overweight. I would stop using it for months at a time and then start again thinking I would be able to do it and wasn’t able to.

However, last year I started talking to someone and I finally convinced myself to meet him in person. I was so nervous and thought I was going to have a heart attack. I met him on September 24 for coffee and we had a great time. It was funny though because on my way to meet him, I saw the California Lottery billboard that said “Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.” and I think that I forgot to breathe while I was driving over to meet him. The date went well and we continued to talk for a while after that, however, things did not progress which I’m fine with. Meeting him and taking that step actually was a huge step for me and my confidence. I have yet to meet another person and actually I rarely use the dating websites at the moment, but I definitely am not giving up on it.

I think that anyone who is/was in the position I am should definitely consider using online dating. Just be careful! I made sure to tell my parents and my best friend where I would be (location, time, etc), showed pictures, gave them his name, and what not. You can’t be too cautious… we’ve all heard the horror stories when it comes to that. But if you are open to it, I think it can be successful. My cousin met his wife on Match.com and they now have 2 children. I think it can work for you if you want it to work.

What do you think about online dating? Have you used it? Would you use it?

Comments

  1. 1

    I’m sort of in the same boat as you – I don’t know too many people in Memphis (moved here a year and a half ago) and I’ve tried online dating. But each time (3 so far) I’ve “scheduled a date” with the guy, I’ve gotten anxiety so bad I was brought to tears. I have no close friends or family near by (families are in Pittsburgh, my hometown) so I don’t feel safe at all doing online dating, although I know people have some success with it.

    Maybe once I make some close girl friends I’d feel okay going out with random guys, but I have no one to save me yet haha

    • 2

      Yeah that’s another thing too. I think it’d be easier if I had some girl friends here to maybe go with me on a couple of the first meetings. It’s hard! Hopefully we can be successful though!

  2. 3

    I’ve never trie online dating. I wish I was still in town to hang out with you though. That makes me sad.

  3. 5

    Tried*

    I can’t spell! Hahaha.

  4. 6

    I’ll never say never, but it’s not something I’m into right now. It is difficult to meet people, though, since I’m out of school and work in a much older environment. Blah, so maybe I should give it a shop… who knows?! Kudos to you on being so smart and cautious… it’s the only way to go!

    xo,
    Stephanie
    Diary of a Debutante
    http://www.stephanieziajka.blogspot.com

  5. 7

    I used to be a traditionalist and was disgusted by the concept of online dating because it didn’t conform to the old-fashioned ways of courtship. That is until I reached the age of open-mindedness and thought that the dynamics of human relationships through multiple worlds is something to be explored. I may actually consider using it just for the sake of meeting people. I hear free online dating sites let you select your target purpose such as a committed relationship or casual friendship, is that right? I’d say if anything, I’d try it just to satisfy my curiosity about human relationships. :)

  6. 8

    I was always afraid of online dating because of the risks. But I met my husband on OKCupid and it was the best decision ever to meet him. I’m glad that you decided to meet this person and that it helped with your confidence. It gets easier and easier every time. And those tips are really good! I always would let at LEAST two family members or friends know where I was and what time I’d be there. I also discreetly texted them to let them know I was still alive, lol!

    Love this, Christina!

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